The awkward ones, first.

Questions and answers

• 01

  You are one person. What happens when you are away, ill, or under a bus?

  The fair objection, and the reason everything is set up the way it is. Every domain, licence and account is in your name, you hold every password, and each job ends with a written page covering what is plugged into what. If I vanish tomorrow, any competent person can pick your setup up and carry on — which is more than can be said for a setup only a departing provider understood. For planned time away I say so in advance. For anything genuinely urgent while I am unreachable, that documentation is what lets someone else help you today rather than next week.

• 02

  Why is there no phone number on this website?

  Because a number on a public page belongs to whoever dials it, and most of them are selling something. The form goes straight to my inbox and nowhere else, and I answer within one business day. Once we are working together you get my direct number — the form is the front door, not the whole house.

• 03

  Do I have to sign a contract?

  No. No minimum term, no retainer, no cancellation fee and no notice period. You approve a written price for a piece of work, I do that work, and then we are square. If you never call again, nothing lapses and nothing is owed.

• 04

  What if I only need one thing fixed?

  That is a normal job. There is no minimum engagement and no expectation that a single fix turns into anything ongoing. Plenty of what I do is one afternoon and a written page at the end of it.

• 05

  Who owns the accounts, domains and passwords?

  You do, always, from the first day. Domains and licences are registered in your business name, cloud accounts are yours, and you hold the keys to all of it. If we part ways you lose nothing but my phone number. I will not hold a domain hostage, and nobody reputable should.

• 06

  Do you have to come to the office, or can this be done remotely?

  Far more of it is remote than people expect, and remote costs the same as on site. The half hour it takes me to drive to you is half an hour you would be paying for, so if a job can be done down a wire it gets done down a wire. For anything beyond a single fix I do want to see the place once — half of these problems are not the thing people think they are.

• 07

  We already have someone who looks after our computers.

  Then keep them. If they are doing the job, replacing them costs you money and buys you nothing. Where I am occasionally useful alongside an existing arrangement is a second opinion before you sign something, or a specific piece of work theirs does not cover. I take no commissions, so I have nothing to gain by telling you your current person is wrong.

• 08

  Do you sell the hardware?

  No, and that is deliberate. You buy the equipment directly, in your name, at the price anyone else would pay, and I tell you what to order. The moment I make money on the box, my advice about which box you need is worth less.

• 09

  How quickly do you reply?

  Within one business day, every time, usually the same afternoon. If something is genuinely urgent — you cannot take payments, nobody can get email, or a machine is showing a ransom note — say so in the first line and I will treat it that way.

• 10

  What do I actually get at the end of a job?

  A working thing, and one page in plain English: what is plugged into what, which accounts exist, who pays for them and when they renew. Then I show you how to check the backup yourself, hand over every password, and get out of your way. The page is yours and it works whether or not I am the one holding the phone.

• 11

  What do you not do?

  Custom software, marketing campaigns, and enterprise networks that already have their own IT department — you would be paying me to learn. I also do not sell hardware at a markup. If what you need sits outside this, say so anyway; I would rather point you at the right person than take the work.

• 12

  Is my business too small?

  Almost certainly not. The work suits one to fifty people with nobody on staff whose actual job is the computers, and the low end of that is a real business worth doing properly. If you are a sole trader with one laptop and a domain name, that is still a setup that can be quietly wrong for years.